But I’m way too tired to care. I do wish I had ordered onion rings and a sundae when we were out over the weekend. It is hard not to feel deprived when the scale ticks back upwards. I know, I know. Fitness folks tell us the scale fluctuates. That our hard work is still working.
Ugh! But who cares!!!! It doesn’t change the way it feels when we look down and see that higher number. I cuss. A lot. It often spirals from there. Why wouldn’t it? Our lives are completely wrapped up in stress. Stress causes weight gain, we are trying to lose weight. See the cycle? It feels like you can not win.
This time I was overly busy BEFORE I stepped on the scale. Aside from our kitchen disaster, we have children and our parents need small amounts of help. Thursday I ran my father around while he dealt with his cell phone provider who treated him shamefully. I was really upset about that for a couple days, while I shopped for subfloor, and took care of the kids, and my mom in town, and answering questions about the upcoming holiday from the in-laws.
Because doing a kitchen update that includes subfloor for $600 requires a lot of work on our parts, plus holiday and family things, I think I can ride this super-busy-not-caring-about-my-weight thing for at least two more weeks.
When I’m not overly busy, I let the depression wash over me for a while then I force myself to count the good things. It is a real struggle but there is always enough on the good list to pull me out and push me to try again. More than that, I use the down times to remind myself that balance is important. If I cut so much that a set back leaves me in a puddle of tears, that is not a good balance of life and diet. It is diet dampening my life. That should never be the case.
Make sure you absolutely delight in some parts of your diet so it filters into your attitude.